White Genocide Most Boring Genocide Ever, Say Experts

Sometimes I write stuff that's completely unusable by anyone who pays money. So like the egomaniac I am, I take to blogging my rejected work. Here is one such example of a failed attempt to score beer money.

Researchers baffled by continued white socioeconomic supremacy, despite genocide

PRETORIA - South Africa’s white genocide is ineffective, inefficient and extremely boring. This was the conclusion of a study, funded by the Drive Them Crackers Into the Sea Foundation, involving a team of statisticians, political analysts and David Icke’s Reptiles Are Everywhere Truth Jihad Collective. “Simply put, more whites must die in order for this genocide to succeed,” says statistician and head researcher Dr Justin “Squint” Quint. “I mean seriously, just look at these numbers. It’s pathetic. It’s almost as if genocidal blacks don’t even care about killing whites.”

Quint argues that although blacks in rural areas are slightly more effective at ethnic cleansing than their urban counterparts, their performance is still too lacklustre to be effective of ridding the country of the white menace. Coastal cities, he says, are the biggest disappointments. “I really don’t understand the delay,” says Quint. “The sea is right there. “And imagine how easy it’ll be to drive the whites into the sea during Summer. Most of them are already at the beach anyway.”

But although the white genocide has so far proven to be disappointing and boring, the situation can be easily reversed “It’s simple,” says Quint. “Blacks just need to up their game and stop being so goddamned oppressed. Statistically, there’s nothing ‘previous’ about their disadvantage. Whites still get most of the opportunities, the jobs and of course, the privilege.To be honest, it’s ludicrous that this white genocide is taking so long.”

When asked what could be done to speed up the process, Quint simply shrugs. “I’m out of ideas,” he says flatly. “it’s not like there are a whole lot of whites in the country anyway – and there are millions and millions of blacks. But it seems South African blacks are far more concerned with trivialities, like feeding and educating their children, developing their careers and living peaceful lives, rather than the wholesale slaughter of the white race. Sadly, All this peaceful behaviour is ruining what could be a damn fine white genocide.”